im about as happy as oj after his trial
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
