Non-Jews are for practice
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
