Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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