Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Randomize
