Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
