with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
