Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
