I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
