In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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