How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
