You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
