Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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