i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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