Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
