We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Randomize
