Already got asked if we're dating
Kiss
Puke
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
