she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
