yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
