thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
