so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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