she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
