I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
