Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
