is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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