guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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