My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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