I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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