I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
third nipple confirmed
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Randomize
