before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
