I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
