I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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