I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
