The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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