I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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