please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
