I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
