after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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