I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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