if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
