she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
