I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
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