North Korea, Best Korea!
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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