Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
