If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Randomize
