yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
