just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Houston, we have a squirter
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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