Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
