She's JV to your varsity
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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