Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Randomize
