do herpes really smell.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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