This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
