I got chris browned last night
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
