I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
My vagina is officially offended.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
